Someone recently told me it was hard to sit, because sitting was causing them anxiety. I have been pondering this. I think this happens sometimes--that anxiety arises when we are meditating. But I think it's good not to assume it's causal. Which is also not to imply that it's not, because of course, it could be!
I used to say that from time to time, I knew when I was sitting in the center of what I should be doing, because all heck would break loose. I think the view was helpful, because it gave me reason and inspiration to continue.. but I am never sure I thought it was true.
You have thoughts on this?
It seems to be true that sometimes sitting can put us in touch with our insecurities, that when we feel vulnerable, the dropping away of distractions leaves us with nothing between our conscious mind and our anxieties and fears.
I remember an interview in Yoga Journal in the 80's with Ken Wilber, who at the time was one of the few writers who'd analyzed deeply the response of the Western-socialized mind to the deeper meditation practices of the East. He said it was not a good idea for the mentally unstable person to meditate, and that it takes a very solid, stable sense of self to tolerate stillness.
For myself, I have at times in the dark months had enough experience with SAD to know that being too rigorous with my sitting will just bring up those symptoms, and then panic and despair; in those times, better for me to read teachings next to a light-box, to walk, to do yoga class in the company of others, and save the stillness for when I can feel it as opening instead of falling into an abyss. So I hear your friend's problem; it certainly is not causal, but a person with depression or anxiety may be able to start with other practices to develop more internal skills &/or perspective so that sitting meditation no longer brings up the symptoms of their vulnerability. Then sitting can be useful in providing even more mental stability, but I think it's important to realize it's not the only approach to development of our best potential as conscious beings.
Does anyone else have experience with this?
Posted by: annie.m | April 15, 2007 at 01:33 PM
Annie, I enjoyed your comments very much, and they resonated with me.
Posted by: Monlam | May 22, 2007 at 08:31 AM